Clinical Trials

Before I dig in, I want to assure you all that you can still comment anonymously, even though it may take two or three clicks to make it go through. Save your comment to a Word doc and try again if it doesn't work the first time. Sorry to those of you having trouble.

Clinical trials lie before us. They are our "last hope", our "final option". It may be that desert mirrage that the thirsty cartoon caracter famously dives into, thinking it's an inviting pool of water. It may be no more useful that my former habits of taking 20 vitamin and mineral supplments per day. It may be as useful as sugar tablets. Clinical trials are the Great Unknown, the Final Frontier of colon cancer. We don't know what lies ahead, we don't know where we're going, and we don't know how to get there. We do know it will be an expensive journey that will require sacrifice, great effort, and much preparation.

I have gone through much preparation already. As I've told you, there were a multitute of tests regarding my general health. The doctors want to make sure I'm able to finish the journey before I start it. This seems very wise to me. Who am I to determine whether I'm able to make it to the end. Before I get started, I'll be put through many many more tests, undergo numberous sessions of questioning. Most importantly to me, I'll learn the risks and potential rewards of undergoing this particular study. I'm sure this will be overwhelming to me. Being driven in will be the very real possibility of death by drugs. These test subjects really are just a few steps up from laboratory rats. While I'm hopeful for healing for myself, I am hopeful that I will be able to make valuable contributions to medical science. I am hopeful that by puting myself through these tests, that cures may come closer to reality for those suffering from my same condition.

Beyond what I've written, I don't really have any certainty. I have no trial lined up to get into. Just hoping and trusting that God always does what is right. I'm going into this with some excitement, some fears, uncertainty, hope. Maybe like a job interview for which I don't know the qualifications. Except potential employees don't prob, prod, stab, and sample.

I haven't even made mention as to where I'm going yet. My first venture is this week to Karmanos Cancer Institute in Detroit. Several of you already expressed surprise that I've never been to Detroit before. Well, here it is again. There, I'll be evaluated for whatever Phase I trials they have that may be useful to me. I'm going there blind. My second trek is to metro Washington DC to the National Institute of Health. They have what appears a very interesting Phase II study that my doctor and I are hoping to get me qualified for. These are Very Small Studies. Only 38 participants are allowed. What are my chances? And what's there to do now? I'd say, eat chocolate and play on my new Kindle which will entertain me for countless hours in upcoming road/air trips.

Birthday

Another birthday has been had. This was a surprise to me. The pain, aching, hospitalizations, fatigue, dizziness of the past several weeks has made that rather questionable -- or at least the enjoyability of another birthday. But this makes 31! Not exactly a milestone to most. Not a desirable age to most. Generally, just not something to write about. Well, I am writing about it, because for me, it's significant, as you all see.

I gather I had over 30 people at the homestead during Saturday evening. Thank you to everyone who came, even when you did wear me out to the point that I'd rather have been in bed. I really enjoyed your company, thought, and chocolate. Just so you know, I have enough chocolate to last a lifetime while still opening a little streetside market. I love it all and will certainly try it. Does anyone have any favorite hats? Thank you all for your true care and love.

Sunday is an energizing day. Today I got some sitting in the sun, reading some great books, and hearing some intense sermons making the gospel much more meaningful to the suffering body. The gospel is so much sweeter in suffering as perhaps you've experienced.