Before I dig in, I want to assure you all that you can still comment anonymously, even though it may take two or three clicks to make it go through. Save your comment to a Word doc and try again if it doesn't work the first time. Sorry to those of you having trouble.
Clinical trials lie before us. They are our "last hope", our "final option". It may be that desert mirrage that the thirsty cartoon caracter famously dives into, thinking it's an inviting pool of water. It may be no more useful that my former habits of taking 20 vitamin and mineral supplments per day. It may be as useful as sugar tablets. Clinical trials are the Great Unknown, the Final Frontier of colon cancer. We don't know what lies ahead, we don't know where we're going, and we don't know how to get there. We do know it will be an expensive journey that will require sacrifice, great effort, and much preparation.
I have gone through much preparation already. As I've told you, there were a multitute of tests regarding my general health. The doctors want to make sure I'm able to finish the journey before I start it. This seems very wise to me. Who am I to determine whether I'm able to make it to the end. Before I get started, I'll be put through many many more tests, undergo numberous sessions of questioning. Most importantly to me, I'll learn the risks and potential rewards of undergoing this particular study. I'm sure this will be overwhelming to me. Being driven in will be the very real possibility of death by drugs. These test subjects really are just a few steps up from laboratory rats. While I'm hopeful for healing for myself, I am hopeful that I will be able to make valuable contributions to medical science. I am hopeful that by puting myself through these tests, that cures may come closer to reality for those suffering from my same condition.
Beyond what I've written, I don't really have any certainty. I have no trial lined up to get into. Just hoping and trusting that God always does what is right. I'm going into this with some excitement, some fears, uncertainty, hope. Maybe like a job interview for which I don't know the qualifications. Except potential employees don't prob, prod, stab, and sample.
I haven't even made mention as to where I'm going yet. My first venture is this week to Karmanos Cancer Institute in Detroit. Several of you already expressed surprise that I've never been to Detroit before. Well, here it is again. There, I'll be evaluated for whatever Phase I trials they have that may be useful to me. I'm going there blind. My second trek is to metro Washington DC to the National Institute of Health. They have what appears a very interesting Phase II study that my doctor and I are hoping to get me qualified for. These are Very Small Studies. Only 38 participants are allowed. What are my chances? And what's there to do now? I'd say, eat chocolate and play on my new Kindle which will entertain me for countless hours in upcoming road/air trips.
Hey Adam - I don't know if you remember me or not from hanging out with Nathan (you were still fairly young when you guys moved from Darby up to Grand Rapids). I've been following your blog here since September when you were in the hospital with a rubber chicken and Sharpies (Heidi posted about that on Facebook), which was the first time I found out about your battle with the "Big C." Anyway, I just wanted to let you know I'm praying for you and have my church praying for you, too. I've had far too many experiences with cancer among my friends and family, some winning and some losing, but you have, by far, the most inspirational, Godly attitude toward the whole thing. I really hope that you get into an trial, somewhere, that can do something for you!
ReplyDelete